Mi (ani) Marathi

On my last day at Hurix, some people had a startling revelation that I’m a Marathi. In fact I was surprised to know that many people thought I was a Gujrathi. One of them was quick to point out that none of my habits (including speech and command over Hindi) resembled a Mumbaikar Marathi. Well, I dug deep into it and here is how it was concluded.

Lot of Marathi Mumbaikars are absolutely loyal to the Thackeray family (may it be Balasaheb-Uddhav or Raj). However despite being a staunch supporter of BJP, I have always opposed their ideologies. So they immediately thought I was not from Maharashtra.

Being a Thackeray loyalist, a Mumbaikar has to compulsorily call every North Indian as ‘Bhaiyya’. I refused to do so, and when I did… it was out of brotherliness. So people thought even I was a North Indian Brahmin.

My Hindi is better than many of my North Indian friends, another reason for them to think I was one of them.

All my Marathi friends talked about salary hike, bonus, LTA claims and cursed the Marwaris and Gujjus for capturing the business circle whereas I always spoke about new business, the up and down going stocks, entrepreneurship. So they thought I was not one of them.

Duh! What the …  ! Mi Marathi ahe. Mala Marathi honyacha abhimaan ahe. Mazi bhasha, mag ti Marathi aso, Hindi aso ka English aso… ti uttam prakare durusta ahe. Prashna ha ahe ki samanya Marathi mansala kasa durusta karta yeil.

1 more day…

… to go before I take my first step towards fulfilling a dream for myself and for India.

Watch out!

Whats in the name?

A friend of mine wrote in her blog post about some politician (or some biggie) proposing to change the name of Delhi to Dilli. I dont know why it is required because phonetically it sounds similar. Yet Calcutta has been renamed as Kolkata, Bombay was renamed Mumbai, Bangalore was renamed Bengaluru, Madras was renamed Chennai and so on.

Nice! You (if you are the one who proposed or effected) have the purpose to call Indian cities with Indian names. Then why is India still India? Why not Bharat or Hindustaan?

Whats in the name after all

What is my contribution to India’s vision?

This post from Kaustubh’s blog has inspired me to write this post. He has taken a latent dig at ‘YOU’ meaning any one who reads that post. For once I’m not going to mind his straight forwardness (Lucky you Kau ). It made me introspect my own contribution to India’s growth vision. Now I’m not going to brag about it with a long post. Just a few bullet points here.

• I want to see an office less India. I personally believe that big office buildings are not imperative. At least for IT companies, all their employees can actually work from their living rooms or bed rooms by connecting the internet to their LCD television sets. With some small technology innovations, it is possible. I’m going to give it my best shot.
• Biggest problem with Small Indian businesses is their inability to adapt to fast changing trends in technology. That is why probably we dont see too many big companies emerging out of the startups. The problem lies with the adaptation of accurate processes, especially in sales and marketing. (The other day an executive tried to sell jewelery to me on phone). I’m going to try and set up a company in partnership with a B school that will extensively work on helping new companies to go to the market better.
• Lot of children in India are homeless and lack basic education facilities. I’d like to declare now that when I start making profits from my ventures, I will dedicate a portion from my individual earnings for the betterment of orphans. It really hurts to see the kids beg on the streets when some of them can certainly shape India’s future.
• I decided long back not to break traffic rules and not to bribe any government official. I have also started asking receipts where ever I purchase, especially petrol pumps. I know lot of you guys dont do it. Believe me, this is one of the best things you can do to India.
• I always call myself an Indian. I will continue doing so and will not bias any religion or community on the basis of their caste, color, state, religion or gender. I will try to prevent people from doing so as well. Being united is a BIG let up for us.

My wife says when you want to do good and big things in immediate or distant future, you should always make a list and pin it at your desk. It reminds you of the unfinished business. So here I have done it. There are some other things as well. I’ll keep adding them. I’m not going to ask what you are doing or will do. But if you wish to share, I’m all ears and eyes

House Warmed

I had taken a break from blogging and work for a few days recently. It was mainly to accommodate our House Warming function. I have recently bought a house in Thane… and I’m extremely happy with what I have got. Its a very nice apartment open on 3 sides, overlooking the Yeur hills at the back, facing the club house on the other side. Every one who came to be a part of the function was all awe-struck . They were happy for me and my wife for what we have acquired. In fact all the credit goes to her. She was the one who encouraged me to go for it… and she literally handpicked the house as well.

Anyway, the function was on 19th June and went very well. We entertained almost 40 guests who chose to be a part of the function. Lot of them are not based in Mumbai. However they decided to be a part of the function and overwhelmed us. Many of them were extremely happy to know that we bought a house before we reached our thirties, which was a trend in their days. There were some who envied us as well. But most of them were all nice. It always feels nice to have good relatives around you. Though you dont mind the occasional bad ones along with them as well.

Hmmm… so the house is finally warmed and I have a new address to tell to. Here I’m leaving you with a witty sentence to end this post.

“A big apartment in Thane- 45 lacs, Car- 4 lacs, money spent on house warming ceremony- 50 thousand… watching the shrewd relatives feeling dumb struck- priceless!”

Commentary

A colleague at Hurix made me remember my good old school days. He said I can be a good commentator. I remember being a commentator for the inter division cricket matches (of course the ones where I wasn’t playing) during my school days. You dont believe it? I can be a good commentator. In fact, if its a football match, any one can be a commentator. Here is how, imagine a match is being played between Manchester United and Chelsea. This is how the commentary goes.

Its a good pitch here… Czech… long ball to Essien… now Ballack… Back to Essien… Joe Cole… good ball towards Anelka… stopped by Vidic… O’Shea… Giggs… Park… Back to Giggs… RYAN GIGGS (excited tone)… to Rooney… to Ronaldo… Ronaldooooooooooooooooooooooooo… oh my god! What a strike, absolutely no chance to Czech.

See… I told you its easy

Away

People, that is going to be my status message for the next few days. I’ll be away from the internet as well as emails. So no good blogging for next 4 days. That is courtesy the house warming ceremony of my newly acquired apartment.

I’ll be back soon

Ask questions to Wolfram Alpha creator

Guys, here is a golden opportunity for you to ask questions to Dr. Stephen Wolfram, the creators of Wolfram Alpha! For those who dont know, Wolfram Alpha is a computational knowledge engine that draws on multiple sources to answer user queries directly.

Dr. Wolfram has agreed to have a short conversation with Crazyengineers. Interested to have your queries answered? just click–> here!

Please use Footpath

Guys… if you are the guys and girls and ladies & gentlemen who do not use the  footpath, please start doing so for the traffic’s sake.

I stay on the central line of Mumbai, meaning I use the LBS Marg daily to commute home. I find it absolutely irritating most of the times to drive my vehicle using only half of the possible width of the road suitable for driving.
You know why? because the pedestrians choose to walk on the road instead of the footpaths.

I know its not your fault after all. The footpaths are already occupied by the street shops, beggars, the site offices of the construction workers, road side tea stalls and some times full fledged restaurants. Then where will you guys walk on? Middle of the road of course. And then where will we guys drive? in the air?

Is the Municipal corporations of India listening? please for god’s sake, do some thing about the footpaths!

L16: Economic Twistory

Ajay stood up to speak on the podium. It was the farewell function of final year G.S Commerce college. “Hello and good evening. My name is Ajay Mehta. You guys probably know me as Professor Mehta or Ajay Sir. If you are my friend, you probably know me as AJ. Some of you also know me as Ajay Mehta, the author of many books, journals and publications on Indian and world economies. I have never shared my private life with any one. If I have given interviews, all have been purely for professional purposes. I have spent over two decades in this industry and earned a respect all over, so much that people dare not ask me any thing apart from facts and numbers. But when two girls from this college came to my house and were surprised to see the photograph of me and my wife, I felt bad. Since my wife has never made any public appearances, they thought I was an unmarried geeky and nerdy professor of economics.” There was a hustle in the crowd.

“So friends and teachers, you guys are going to be disappointed with this lecture of mine. For a change and for the first time in my life, I’m not going to speak on Economics. You guys will be surprised to know that I’m an alumni of this college. I have studied here during my higher secondary. But even the teachers would not know because I hardly attended any lectures. Yes, I was a brat about 25 years back. But this is the place where I found my first love… the love of my life.” There was a hustle in the crowd as Ajay spoke this. He smiled and continued.

“I was an extremely arrogant teen during my days. Having secured the admission on a reference of my father’s friend, I treated this place as my own. I had a scooter then, A Bajaj Super while many of my friends either walked, came on bicycle or by bus to the college. That was courtesy to my father being a rich man. So naturally I was always in the thick of the action and almost always outside the class. I spent 1 year disobeying the seniors, teachers… every one. All me and my bunch of friends would do was sit outside under the tree near the canteen and chat. We also occasionally teased girls by the way.” There was a chuckle in the hall. “Oh yes, and by the way, none of my friends have done badly though. Some of them are CFOs and VPs in big companies. One is working in the PMO as financial advisory. Every one is well settled. But beware, that doesn’t give you a reason to be the way I used to be.” There was another chuckle.

“So moving ahead, after I passed one more year under the tree, one fine day I met my sweet heart. The new batch of freshers had come. In the midst of the crowd of freshers standing in the corridor, I saw her. She was timidly standing there surrounded by other equally lost new bees. She was one of the sweetest looking girls I had ever seen. I decided I was going to get introduced. However as a self made rule, we never ragged girls. So obviously it was going to be difficult for me. I knew if I approached her directly, she definitely was going to turn me down. But then I loved challenges. While we were ragging some of the juniors, I asked one of my classmates to rag me. I told him to send me to her as a part of this ragging. And that is how I got introduced to her. Her name was Mala Hasija, and I was happy to know that she stayed on my way home. So I could accompany her every day. I started attending the junior classes. The teachers didn’t know me anyway. Casual conversations were slowly turned into long chats outside the college. Slowly we became close buddies. But then all love stories have villains dont they?” By now the crowd had started enjoying Ajay’s story. They all replied with a big yes.

“One day a junior spilled the beans over my plot and Mala came to know that I was only trying to woo her. She was an intelligent and studious girl. The only reason she enjoyed my company was because I knew most of the answers in the class. But since I was a bloody senior, I didn’t qualify to be her friend. I was crest fallen. Though in my 18 years of married life, I have faced many others, that was the first real test I ever faced. It took me weeks to win back my heroine. And I also made sure that my villain was occasionally beaten up whenever tried to act over smart. I made rounds of her house, her tuition class and wherever she went. I occasionally also made sure I expressed my love to her. The exams were approaching and I was unable to concentrate. Finally she agreed, but on the condition that I should emerge as the top scorer in the examination. I obliged by topping the scores of each and every exam I gave there after.” There was a loud applause as Ajay uttered this sentence.

“We went separate ways after our junior college. I knew I was only 17 then and we had a long way to go. Forget marriage,  we didn’t even know what you meant by a serious affair. I always wanted to be an economist. I fancied doing my father’s accounts and the yearly financial planning. I decided to move to Delhi to complete my further studies, much to Mala’s displeasure. I tried convincing her to accompany me to Delhi as well. But Mala wanted to be a CA and was determined not to leave the city for any reason. Finally, I went alone. We were young and restless. Even we had had occasional tiffs in the 1 year of friendship. However they grew as the distance grew between us. My curriculum was tough, meaning I couldn’t come home often. We didn’t have mobile phones then. So the communication was anyway lesser. Days became weeks and weeks became months. There was a time when we hadn’t seen each other for 1 and half years. Then suddenly when I was in my final year of graduation, I accidentally met her again. I was representing a competition in Mumbai on behalf of Delhi University. Mala had come there to accompany her friend. As our eyes met… I remember… that was probably one of the best moments of my life.” Lot of young girls in the crowd were smiling now.

As Ajay continued further “We vowed not to leave each other again. The lost love was found. Mala was still doing her intermediate while I had landed up a prestigious job in Tata Steel in Jamshedpur. I used to call her every week… And we never fought.” Ajay smiled again as the audience drooled with a ‘uuuhhhh’. “It went on for another year before I found myself capable enough to propose her. I called her and told I was coming back to talk to talk to her parents. But Mala was adamant. She wanted to be a CA before they could talk marriage. Finally six more months passed and I succeeded to find a way to her home. I was happy to go and approach their parents first, before asking my father to join us as well. However it turned out to be a soar affair. We all are traditional Indian families. We dont marry our kids outside our cast. And thats exactly Mala’s parents told me. They were nice and cordial for the first time. They were frank on the second, very straight forward on the third and threatened me with consequences the next time I went to meet them. I tried talking to my father and he too refused for the first time. But I managed to convince him. Even Mala was facing lot of flak on the other hand. All her attempts to convince her parents were being thwarted. One fine day, they fixed her marriage to a boy from their own community. She was shattered and I panicked completely. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge hadn’t released by then. So I was certainly short of ideas. I didn’t know how to win the bride’s parents by pretending to be the groom’s friend.” There was a loud roar in the crowd as Ajay said this, gesturing typically as if he was Shahrukh Khan.

“We decided to lay low. Few days after the marriage was fixed, Mala’s wannabe husband asked for a permission to meet Mala. Her father reluctantly agreed. Mala thought this was the best chance to make a move. I was completely taken aback when she called me and asked if I could make it to her city by next day morning. I was completely surprised. I remembered Mala as the sweet 16 year old girl timidly looking at the new class room. And here she was asking me if I could run away with her. But here she was and I had no choice but to oblige. Frankly speaking, she has never given me any other choices… a price every man pays for marrying beautiful ladies.” The hall erupted in a laughter. “So there I was, standing near the hotel they were supposed to meet. I patiently waited outside by the time Mala dodged her fiance and came running out. Probably that is on top of my ‘most memorable moments’ list. We went straight to the raliway station and boarded the next train to Delhi. I called up my father and asked for his help. Few days later, we were married in the family courts of Delhi. Initially Mala’s parents objected. It took us 2 years and the news of Mala’s pregnancy to convince them. But finally they agreed. I spent the initial few years hoping between Delhi and Jamshedpur till the time Mala completed her CA. We then moved to London briefly for I wanted to complete my higher studies in economics. Since then I have worked with a couple of consulting firms before taking teaching and writing as my full time profession.” Ajay paused for a moment to have a sip of water from the dais. “Hmmm… The love story that started from the high school has lived up to every body’s expectations who knew us 25 years ago. So thats my story for you. First time in my life I have opened the chapter on the personal front. I’m sorry I might have disappointed you guys by not speaking about economics. I hope you will pardon me for this candid expression of love. Thank you!” The hall erupted in a thunderous applause.

Even as the students stood up for an ovation, Ajay gestured some one in the crowd. Within a minute a middle aged woman climbed up the podium. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m glad to introduce you to a renowned chartered accountant, founding partner of MAM Associates and my wife for 18 years, Mrs. Mala Hasija nee Mehta” The applause grew even louder and took some time to die down.