Posts in Waiting

Couple of my good friends have promised to write a guest post on my blog. It was supposed to be one of those special ones for the Anniversary week specials. However unfortunately they haven’t been able to do so, owing to their busy schedules. So there is nothing new for today.Hopefully they will be able to do it over the weekend. Meaning, you might get to read them on coming Monday.

Again, thank you very much for the response to Maxmayur blog. While I write this, the last visitor count is 27,585 averaging more than 75 visitors every day. In all over 600 comments have been posted, making it almost 2 comments per day. Considering the repeat visits as well, at least 15-20 new people have discovered this space ans spent time looking at the content. I’m over whelmed. 🙂

In the mean while I’m working on a love story. Also the part two of Pallavi’s guest post is in the offing. So watch out for this space.

Main, Hindustani

Janmatithi Saptah Vishesh

Maxmayur blog ki aaj pehli warsha gath hai. To maine socha is mauke par kyun na kuchh aisa likha jaye jo pramanik bhi ho aur wastavik bhi. Par aisa to kuchh muze sujh nahi raha tha. Main phir se soch mein pad gaya. Aur isi soch soch mein ye socha ki kyun na bhasha par hi kuchh likha jaye… apni matrubhasha par. Marathi bhasha evam sabhyata ke swayam prachalit sanrakshak kahi is baat pe aakshhep na uthaye isliye pehle hi keh deta hu. Marathi meri utni hi matrubhasha hai jitni ki Hindi hai. Par mere pathakon ki vibhinnata ko dhyan me rakhte hue main Hindi mein likh raha hu, jo sab ko samajh aati hai. (Maaf kijiye, wordpress mein dev nagari lipi ka prabandh abhi tak kiya nahi gaya hai.)

Chaliye aage badhte hai. Main jaanta hu ki aapko padhne mein pareshani ho rahi hai. Magar main bhi vivash hu. Meri Hindi utni hi durust hai jitni English ya Marathi. Magar main ye jatane ki koshish nahi kar raha hu. Main bas aapko bhasha ka aur apne desh ka sanman yaad dilana chahata hu. Muze vishwaas hai shayad aapme se kayee yahi sochte hai ke isse kya farak padta hai. Shayad aapme se kuchh log shaadi shuda hai, aapke choote bachche hai aur usne aap English mein baat karte ho. Aur koi mere jaisa puchhe to aap unse kehte ho ki ye naya jamana hai. Aaj kal bachcho ko English sikhana jaroori hai. Main maanta hu ki kahi na kahi ye baat sahi hai. Par aap apni Bhartiya sabhyata ko daav par laga kar ‘Modern’ banne ki naam par aap badi kimat chuka rahe hai. Jara sochiye, kya  aap nahi chahate ki aapka bachcha apni dharm ka sanman kare? Muze yaad hai, jab main bada ho raha tha to maine TV par Ramayan, Mahabharat, Mickey Mouse, Duck Tales aur Jungle Book jaise karyakramo ka maja liya hai aur usse apne mann ko rijhaya hai. Magar aaj kal ke bachche MTV Roadies aur Nachh Baliye jaise karyakramo ka maja le rahe hai aur apne aap ki unke kirdaaron si tulna kar rahe hai. Ab ye aap ko sochna hai ki ye kitna sahi hai aur kitna galat.

Kuchh din pehle ki baat hai. Mera duur ka ek rishtedar mujhse Mumbai milne aaya tha. Use ek jaroori baat pe salah mashuhara karna tha. Wo pichhle kayee mahino se vidhesh jaane ki koshish mein laga hai. Use lagta hai ki yahan ki zindagi uske liye nahi hai. Waha mauj masti hai, aishoaaram hai, paisa hai aur wo sab kuchh hai jo wo chahata hai. Wo aisa sochne wala akela ladka nahi hai. Aaj kal ke yuva shayad yahi sochte hai, mere alawa. Ye apna apna vichar hai aur main ise galat nahi maanunga. Shayad inme se kuchh log aise hai jo desh ke bahar reh kar desh ke liye kaam karna chahate hai. Mujhe aise logon se koi aapatti nahi hai. Aur kyun rahe? bhai apni zindagi hai, jo jaise chahe bita sakta hai. Par phir koi muzse ye na kahe ki uska desh uske liye kuchh nahi kar raha. Aaj kya nahi hai humare desh mein? Har koi aaj humari shaktiyon ka praman de raha hai. Aur phir jara ye bhi to socho, 10 karod ki aabadi ko sambhalna aur 120 karod ki aabadi ko sambhalne me kuchh to antar hota hai na? Agar himmat hai kisi vidheshi mein to chala kar dikhaye saari suvidhayen.

Aaj America par aarthik samasya ke baadal mandara rahe hai to humare bhi pair dagmaga rahe hai. Lekin kahi na kahi humne apna paath padh liya hai. Ab ye saari duniya ne bhi maana hai ki hum kamjor nahi rahe. Humne duniya ko dikha diya hai ki humari aarthik vyavastha aur bhavishya ki pariyojna unse behtar hai. Hum aage badh rahe hai. Log dekh rahe hai. Yeh baat agar hum jaise yuva bhi samajh le to desh ki unnati ke liye isse se behtar aur kuchh nahi hai.

Agar meri baat kisi ko buri lagi ho to maaf kijiyega. Jai Hind!

Guest Post: Samaira’s Tryst with superstition

Here comes guest post number 2… again from a Delhieit. I know Pallavi Walia only for a few months now. However we have been good friends since then. We met here on my blog, courtesy my love stories. Apart from being a very helpful and charming person, Pallavi is an exceptionally well networked PR top executive. Enjoy her tryst.

Samaira’s Tryst with Superstitions

In the night I sat back and relax, pondering over the day’s activities, things that got done and some unfinished tasks still at hand. As I let my thoughts loose, close my eyes, put up my feet with my hands crossed across my head and further slip into the slumber, I felt a jolt. What was that? My Imagination or there was something, my heart skipped a beat and I thought to myself, Oh! No not at this hour, not today, please God! But I saw a shadow emerge from the darkness and seeing believing. Standing tall in front of me with hand crossed across the chest … Samaira

Samaira who? Samaira is this 20 something. Of course like any other person her age she too is working, independent, plays a vital role in her company, responsible towards her family. Has a limited but good circle of friends. Doesn’t socialise much except with her most trusted people. Some say she can carry the world on her shoulders and actually she does sometimes with words ‘happy to help’ written all over her face. But she says, this service is exclusive to members of her ‘People I love and dote on club’.

In certain ways she is like any other girl her age with her share of inhibitions (a little more than others actually and these are not just the usual ones) yet different from so many I know. A little conscious about her looks about which is always on the defensive- well you see I am not as fair as other girls in my family-maybe because I was born at night- she tells you, but smart I am, she adds a little later confidently with her chirpy smile, a smile that will simply reflect in her eyes with a twinkle. She perpetually has one on her face all the time and that does add to her simplistic charm, I tell her… And she coolly shrugs away with a- it doesn’t matter to me look!

So well, she woke me up with a thump to have a heart to heart chit-chat! We girls do that sometimes, when our mind is clouded with 1001 different thoughts.

Sam: Hi there… how are you, what ya, I don’t call you so even you won’t check on me? – Always ready with a statement before anyone can say something to her.

I: Well, I said I thought you must be busy and will get back to me when ever you have the time.

Sam: I know I know- but why can’t you just call sometimes, if I am busy I will say so!

I: Okay, will keep a check on you. So tell me what have you been upto… Apart from your usual work-home-work routine? (I know the answer is going to be begin with a nothing much, and this means a lot actually)

Sam: Nothing much, you know, and she sinks further into the sofa. What about a cup of garam chai? And please can you be a little less generous with the quantity of milk in it?

I: Sure, your wish is my command. Kuch toh hai. A count till ten No, twenty actually before she starts with her story.

I: Here, is your Garam chai, and as she inhales the whiff of hot air coming from the cup and a sigh! again. Sam has this funny habit she likes to feel the aroma before sipping her tea.

Sam: Perfect! Just the way I want it to be.

I: now, 3, 2, 1, out with it

Sam: Okay, tell me something. So what is it?

I: What is what?

Sam: Why suddenly everyone at home has decided to go back to the dark ages?

I: you mean with mom and everyone doing rounds at the pundits and astrologers in context to your marriage

Sam: What else???

I: Hmmm… so?

Sam: So? How can you be so causal about it?

I: what else can I do?

Sam: okay, you can write and share with people at least and ask them to help me out?

I: Help you? With what? Finding a match?

Sam: Gawd! No… Just so that the ones my age can also share their experiences and I get to know how to they deal with situation like this.

I: Okay, done deal!

So this is Samaira’s story… read it and share with her what you feel about it. She will be happy to hear from you guys!

Guest Post: Surviving a Party

Here is the first Guest post by a Delhi boy Prateek Varma aka Patty aka CEan raj87verma88. I know Patty for almost 2 years. He one of the most influential member of our forum Apart from being a bike freak and conceiving a robot (CE Bot), Patty is also a student of Mechanical Engineering. Enjoy!

Surviving A Party

All of you must have got the feeling of boredom at least once during a party. Sometimes not exactly boredom, but you wish you weren’t there, you feel lost and helpless. There is a big gathering of people, an uncle is shamelessly goring himself on some dish and making sure his shirt doesn’t stay hungry. Then there is the irritating aunt who spots you while you are trying to hide behind the “Golguppa” counter.

But you have to make sure that it seems you are enjoying. Because if you give even a slight hint that you are not, then the host/hostess presume that it may be something they said or did and one of them sticks with you like a leech for the rest of the party or sends a waiter trailing behind you, whose only purpose in life is to either bring you delicacies without you asking for any or ask you first and still bring a topped up plate even if you had declined the offer.

The old aunts are one of the most lethal. They ask questions that would put even the RAW’s interrogation team to shame. Each answer you give, will give birth to another question, and if you don’t, then too another question following by a sarcastic jibe coated with humour. This continues till they either find a new prey or you collapse. Some oldies I know had a strange habit of poking me in the rib cage during marriages and chuckling with a toothless grin, “You are the next in line”. They stopped after I started doing the same thing at funerals.

In every marriage or party there are a couple of people who are usually very quite, but give them a a few drinks and they will give you one the strangest dance performances ever. Their steps are either derived from animals eg Snake Dance, Constipated Monkey, decapitated eel, etc or from day to day activities eg Flying a Kite, Laying plates on a table, washing clothes etc.

With the variety of snacks being served, by the time, it is time, for the main courses, you are too full to even look at the food. Now this is a typical Catch-22 situation. If you don’t eat, you either offend the host and they will continue to feel bad about it and make it known to you via slight hints and jibes now and then till judgment day, and make you eat some against your will, or they think you are feeling shy and literally force something down your throat. If you say yes, and have some just to please the hosts, they will keep coming back to you and force feed you, as if your stomach is a bottomless pit.

Many times a strange person you don’t recognize, creeps up to you and starts a conversation. He says that you had met before, and acts like he is your best buddy. You smile and laugh throughout the conversation while wondering, “who the hell this guy is?”. After the party, you take the courage to ask someone and they give such a searching look as if wondering whether you are from this planet or not.

Sometimes while you are sitting at the table, the person to your right is busy in conversation with the person to his/her right, and the one on your left is talking to someone on his/her right. You have two options here, either start crying softly over your bad luck or start singing a solo while using the spoon and plate as drum and sticks. But here also do not let the hosts know you are disengaged or they would feel responsible to you and start an emergency conversation which you don’t want.

Make others believe that you are talking to someone. Make it seem as if you are looking towards someone and keep nodding you head or say “Yes”, “No”, make some expressions from time to time.

Another way to kill time is make some sculpture out of the food on your plate or try to balance your spoon on your nose. But make sure, it seems you are doing this for someone. From time to time look up and say something which shows your either making this for someone or teaching them some fine culinary trick.

The last resort could be, going the ‘child way’. Start acting like a 5 year old. Go down on all fours, sneak below the table and growl like a tiger to startle someone, or steal some sandals and mix them up, tie the shoelaces of the two shoes together etc. Do this until you get kicked out…………………………………… or………………………………………… just take your leave, walk out of the party, go home and sleep.

Me, Myself and Mayur

Anniversary Week Special

I start the celebrations of the first anniversary of my blog today. As a gesture of obligation and courtesy, I have decided to let few of my regular reader visitors to pen down their thoughts. Having said that, I thought could I do more to mark the beginning of this day? So what better way than to let people know who they have been reading since last one year?



So am I addressing a routine question, “Tell me about yourself?” My full name, just in case you dont know, is Mayur Dhananjay Pathak. I’m a Marathi Brahmin. While I’m extremely proud to be both Marathi and Brahmin, I have been ranting about the fact that I’m more proud to be an Indian. Anyway, thats not the point here. I remember during my early days, I used to introduce myself as the king of birds, Peacock (also the meaning of my name). I’m as ostentatious as a Peacock, thats what I would tell the interviewers. But the real fact, which not many of you know, is that I was predominantly a shy kid. I hardly had any friends till almost my 8th or 9th grade. As an average student academically, I was self conscious and had a terrible inferiority complex. But suddenly it changed. May be on some day, in some month and in some year I had this revelation that I can indeed be a stage, or atleast a public personality. There was one small thing in me that made me change my perception about myself. It was my little sense of humor and the ability to mimic others. I’d enjoy making others laugh. The upsurge of confidence that got instilled in me during my early days has carried me through till date.

I’m born to artist parents. Both my mother and father are commercial and professional artists. My mother enjoys painting on mostly unconventional medium, such as pots, jute, cloth and at times on walls. Whereas my father has transformed himself as an interior decorator. One of his greatest works are the paintings on the biography of Dr. Hedgewar, inspired and painted just by reading a book, and being honoured at the hands of Shri L. K. Advaniji. Probably they too wanted me to be an artist. I obliged them by winning a national level drawing competition at the age of 8, but nothing there after. Soon I figured out that the creativity in me was not in my hands, literally. I enjoyed strategising Dad’s business and suggesting them ways to promote his services… as much as I enjoyed writing. But I must also admit one thing here. The inspiration to write did not come to me from within. In my sweet adolescence, while I was conceiving a play for my class, a friend suggested that I should take up writing as a regular activity. In a bid to impress, I merely obliged.

Though I’m not at all a successful or for that matter a better writer, let me tell you a secret of being a good author. There are only two things to be a good author. One you need to be exceedingly imaginative and two, you need to keep your reader glued and guessing. I have learnt this as a mimic artist. It is important to open your cards slowly and carefully. If you master it once, it gives you the confidence to apply it every where in life. I did just that when I came to Mumbai about little more than 4 years ago. Having lived out of my parents home for couple of years, I thought I was ready for the demanding a pacy life in this city of dreams. But within the initial days I found out that only dreaming wont do. Having waded through the floods on 26th July or from the bloodbath on the Borivali station on 11th July, the city has taught me to fight. Most people reject me today in job interviews because they say I’m supremely confident, arrogant and hence I cant be tamed. However they dont know that it was the confidence and will that has helped me to come out of the jaws of death. I came out of a life threatening experience 3 and half years ago with bruises and scratches. I could only do that because of the confidence and the instinct not only to survive but to excel.

Today when I look back at my life, I feel satisfied of coming this far. I have survived the bad ones with finesse and presided over the good ones with composure. I’m a budding entrepreneur. I’m married to a beautiful and lovely woman (I consider myself very luck though 🙂 ). And I have recently acquired a possession in Mumbai. I’m a happy man gunning for more. Thank you all of you!

PS: Look out for guest posts in the days to come 🙂

The Regionalism

I remember a small but unimportant incident that happened few weeks back. I have recently bought a flat. So while finalizing the deal, we happened to get into a friendly chat with this guy from the builder’s office. In the process we inquired about each other’s home towns. He quickly retorted by saying he is actually from no where. I was surprised, but the reason he gave was right. If you are from Mumbai, you must have read or at least observed a supplement that accompanied today’s TOI. It is about the people and the unique ways of the descendants of the Sindhu Valley, the Sindhi community. Some one probably came up with this ‘novel’ idea of promoting and making every one aware of a community by publishing widely about them. Nothing wrong in it though, I just dont get the big need behind doing so. May be because, like the guy I mentioned above, all of them think they are actually from nowhere? (Since the state of Sindh is now in Pakistan).

Anyway, this post is not about Sindhis. Its about the fact that regional and religious boundaries still divide the minds of people in India. Look at the way the ‘Marathi Manoos’ agenda is driven by the two ‘Senas’ in Maharashtra or the way Mayawati runs the party solely for the backward classes. This is an aboriginal hypothesis. The difference actually egresses from our own mind.Ask a person who he is and he will say he is a Punjabi or a Marathi or a Gujrathi. Thankfully at least the ‘South India’ is united in the eyes of all others above Maharashtra.

I have been talking about it very openly and I keep saying it that division on the basis of religion is an abhorrent deed. We can not grow as a nation till we grow out of our regional bounds. Often as a Maharashtrian I have heard this that since all Patels help a fellow Patel, all Joshis and Kulkarnis should all but support another Joshi or a Kulkarni or a Deshpande. Believe me, this way neither the Joshi will grow nor the Patel… let alone the country.

People, please! Grow out of your regional boundries. The country needs you.

What will LK Advaniji do now?

LKadvaniFrankly speaking, I was well prepared for welcoming the saffron brigade back to power. Although I mentioned this in my earlier post that Advaniji is a bit old for the office, I have a soft corner for that man. I was completely bowled over by the aura of the Iron Man of India when I first met him. But sadly, a modest and humble Dr. Manmohan Singh made his way back to the PMO again.

Though there is no point in fault finding now that Congress has the majority, probably the flaw lies in their buildup to the election. BJP stressed too much on trying to be a ‘One National Party’ as against the UPA who contested majorly as an alliance. Moreover some other rebel parties such as the ill-famous MNS has all but helped the cause of Congress, at least in Mumbai. Without them the Congress couldn’t have won a single seat in Mumbai. Anyway, thats not the point here.

I think the next course of action for Advaniji is to retire and say good bye to his prime ministerial dream. There will be enough mourners, me included. But thats the best thing right now. May be next time we will see the BJP poster boy Narendra Modi coming to power and wrestling his way to the PMO. May be next time we will see a better party being elected. As of now I’m happy that the trouble makers (RJP, SP, BSP, CPI/M) are routed and finally we will have a stable government.

Goodbye Advaniji, we will miss you.

The Club Mahindra Farce

We all know that Club Mahindra sells holidays. Rather, they sell the ‘stay’ part of the holidays. In case if you did not know, now I have told you that. While they might have the best of resorts (as they claim) in India and abroad (through tie ups), I some how can not buy their business model. So when I got a call from their tele-calling executive regarding a supposedly free holiday voucher as a part of the scheme, I decided to finally meet them. I regretted that decision later after having to spend 2 useless hours listening to the feel-good attempt by their managers. Here is what happened-

Me and my wife were met by a lady at their kiosk who made us fill out a form. She made us wait for some time, after which we were attended by an ugly looking fat guy. He some how couldn’t stop smirking, which put me off immediately. We informed him that we were in a hurry and that he should wrap it up quickly. But instead of honoring us, he decided to throw stupid questions at us. I will give you some examples and my answers later. Basically he was trying to break the ice and make things a bit comfortable, which wasn’t needed. We knew the whole idea behind it. Pay an amount now and enjoy stay at the choicest resorts 7 days a year for 25yrs. There were some discounts on offer as well as some free bees to be given out, including some meal vouchers, some free stay, some international memberships  et all. The package cost was about 254 thousand Indian rupees. The positives were, we could beat the inflation and enjoy our stays at a discounted rates for 25 yrs. Negative point was, they were with limited capacity as of now. Moreover we could be tied up with Club Mahindra and their destinations for life.

Simple to understand? What is so damn difficult in explaining this? “But Sir please try to understand the concept behind this” The fatso kept telling. What the ‘F’ concept? I’d have yelled jibes at him, had I not kept cool. Still, I gave him enough. Here- read this conversation.

So how many times do you go for a holiday in a year Sir. Or do you at all go? He expected me to say ‘hardly’ My answer was, at least 4-5 times.
Next, When did you enjoy a candle lit dinner? Yesterday, I said.
He attempted one or two more, which I curtly replied. Finally he backed. The point I was trying to make was, if he was a salesman, he should have behaved like one. He was trying to be a psychiatrist. So I made sure he met his worst patient/customer of the day. He quickly sensed the danger and also involved his manager in the conversation. Over to this, they wanted to me to make the commitment of 2 and half lac rupees on the fly. It was suicidal 🙂

Demolishing idiots is fine. But demolishing idiot salesmen is such a mouth watering treat. I’m myself a sales consultant. I felt like writing an email to the top guys telling them to conclude this farce. Let us face it. They are selling holidays. And that is what they do. The facilities and the experience they give is neither new nor exclusive only to Club Mahindra. Trying to create a ‘feel goo’ aura behind the deal will not work. They need a better method to convince the customers, one of them being offering them a no obligations trial holiday.

Club Mahindra, are you listening? Sorry for being so livid. But ask your people to talk less. They irritate so much!

Will Nano replace the Auto Rikshaws?

Ratan Tata has done a great job by inventing (or conceiving and funding the invention) of the appropriately name car ‘Nano’. While he has fulfilled his dream of building world’s cheapest car, his other dream of making available the luxury of owning a car to the ‘Aam Aadmi’ is going to create problems.

With all due respect to Mr. Tata, I would like to suggest that Nano should be used as a replacement for the Auto Rikshaws and the aging taxis. It can seat 4 and moreover it is more safer and luxurious. This will also help in realising the ‘Tata’ dream of making a car available for every one in India. But if every one start buying it, god bless all of us.

Mr. Tata, are you listening?

Blog anniversary day preperation

Maxmayur blog completes 1 year on the 28th of this May. This is hardly an achievement for some one else, but for me it is. Because I never thought I’d complete this stint, given the way I started.

So to make it a special day, I’d like to invite the readers and fellow bloggers to pen down some thoughts for my blog. Any article or a scrap in general will do. So if you are interested, please comment here with your blog url and email so that I can add you as an author temporarily. I will post a collection of all the good articles from the week of 25th May.