GPOW: Prime Meridian

This one is from Prateek‘s father. Location is the Royal Observatory in Greenwich. The time is around noon.

The Meetings!

Office meetings are always so funny. Every time we have a meeting, I remember Scott Adams. If there is one guy who has understood the corporate world well, it is him. And boy, how well he captures it.  🙂

This incident is from one of our review meetings in the office last week. The bosses were discussing the usual and the obvious, as usual. I listened to it for some time. But then I found out that I was invited only to make sure that each of these bosses have at least one listener (me) who will look at them and pay attention. That was injustice man, and without any perks too. Of course, there are those bourbon biscuits and wafers. But the idiot office boys keep those plates in front of the bosses. So even that ‘perk’ is gone.    😩

I decided I had had enough. I opened my laptop and started the old favourite gtalk. Then started the series of pings. Hello to him, Hi to her… boy I was all over the gmail. Just when I was discussing one’s prospective groom on one window, telling a friend how boring it is on the other and discussing a break away proposal on the third I realised that the conference room had gone silent. Every one was looking at me, some of them in anticipation and one of them (my boss of course) in anger. All I could do was smile, why is it not funny? 🙂

Boy, the meetings are just like the classrooms. You cant even do your own stuff when the teacher is not watching you.

Guest POW

Some of the readers who have liked and commented on my ‘Picture of the week’ had also sent me photographs they had taken and wanted me to post it on the blog. I welcome the move. Every one has a photographer inside them. I’m more than eager to post such beautifully taken pictures  on the blog. I’ll soon put the first one and will continue to do so as and when people send me their photos. Just be careful about the following rules though-

  • The photograph has to be taken by you.
  • Along with the photo, you will also have to tell me where you took the picture and at what time. If you have a story behind it, I’m all ears.    🙂
  • The picture should not contain any objectionable matter such as pornography, accidents, blood, nudity (not even aesthetic and artistic nudity), racist or violent images.
  • By sending me the picture for the POW category, you are allowing me to publish it and retain the publishing rights for the image. However the copy rights and the original ownership rights on the image will remain with you.
  • If the above rules are violated, I’ll have you remove the images.

So are you ready? Bring the images on.

R A N D O M: V

When nothing else works, random does. 🙂

I’m sure Random will inspire me to write good articles and new stories in the future. I had been blanking the ‘Stories’ section for too long now. Speaking about stories, yesterday a friend compared me to Chetan Bhagat first, and then to Jug Surraiyya (when I told him I’m interested in writing columns. Comparison with Jug was a BIG one though). In fact, in the last few months I have received quite a few compliments (so it seems) that I can be a Chetan Bhagat (I mean a writer like CB). I dont know if it is a compliment. I’m personally not a big fan of his (or his writings). I think his style of writing is very easy one. And I dont want to match it at all. Without being critical of him (since I dont like to criticise people in the creative field), I’m in fact trying to evolve a more complex and intriguing style, myself. Some thing that will keep the reader glued and guessing (Some one said Robert Ludlum, eh?). And apply the same style to my love stories. Ha! That makes some sense. (it is supposed to make a sense).

(Too many bracketed disclaimers)  🙂

Have you bought a house? I have. By no means I want to look down upon you, in case if you haven’t. In fact I would look up to you. At least you are saved of the ‘EMI ka Phera’. When 60% of your hard earned salary goes into paying House, Car, Education load EMIs and another 30% on household expenses and bills, that is when you realise how dreadful is the Phera. It is an absolute, humongous, capacitive, redundant force that stops you from doing almost every thing you want to. You cant just plunge into a business unless you have a contract in hand. Even if you have, you compare the earning with the value of the EMIs. You cant think of an alternate profession. You cant fight with your boss. (what if he fires you? Who’ll then pay the EMIs?). You get nightmares that recovery agents are banging your door. You cant think of any thing but that… You cant this… You cant that… You cant blah… You cant bloop… !!!

Waiiiiiiiit a minute!

Now I know why I’m not able to write good stories for last few weeks. Good that I have found out. The sinking feeling is going to sink now. I’m going to be right on it. Tell me, do you also face such randomness? Just splash some water on it and you’ll feel fresh. 🙂

I AM

(PS: Here ‘I’ is not equal to Mayur Pathak, but not too different either 🙂 )

Figure for me is being able to wear a ‘jeans’ without getting too cramped. I find Shahrukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor as sexy. And I think Dilip Kumar is a great actor.

I eat Burgers and Pizzas when in Mumbai or Delhi and vouch for Panipuri and Aloo ka Paratha when in New York and London.

I criticize the BMC and comment on why Mumbai can not be like Shanghai or Singapore without ever visiting any of the cities or for that matter, without even living in Mumbai.

I try to teach how to hit sixes and win matches to Sourav Ganguly and M.S. Dhoni when my own hard hit shot doesn’t even cross the compound wall.

I feel the cricketers have taken bribes every time they drop a catch, get dismissed or lose a match.

I idolise Sachin Tendulkar, Lata Mangeshkar, Chetan Bhagat and Raj Thackeray.

I like all songs by Pink Floyd, Madonna and Michael Jackson without knowing what genre of music they make or play. And I dance to them when in a discotheque. Though my dance moves are as if I’m dancing to a Punjabi Dhol.

I find movie tickets+popcorn+coke at 300 bucks as reasonable whereas Apples at 100 bucks a kilogram as costly.

“Kitne Aadmi the…” and “Tere Paas kya hai…” are still my most widely used filmy dialogues. But I hate Bollywood movies that fantasize too much. And yet, Star wars, Jurassic Park, Matrix and Terminator are my favourite movies.

I criticize every ruling party and always think the opposition would have done better, no matter who is in power.

I always think my boss is an Idiot and I can do a better job than him. But I never fail to flatter him, in order to get a good appraisal.

I obey traffic rules only when I see the traffic cop standing at the far end of the junction.

Being a spectator to a road side quarrel is a great fun to me.

I like writing and reading about myself.

I AM … an Indian!!!

Indians and Manners: Part II

Separate incidents-

  • I was on my way to office today morning and driving on the Ghod Bunder Road on the out skirts of Thane. I was about to overtake a bus when a polythene bag full of vomit (yuks!) was hurled out of one of the windows of that bus. It landed barely few feet in front of my wind screen. You know what would have happened if I was driving a little faster. Whoever threw it didn’t even bother to see if any one else was coming from behind. How’s that?
  • IBM, Oracle Financials, Deutsche Bank, Morgan Stanley, TCS, LRN and India Infoline. These are some of the companies, all top rated, who have their offices in the commercial premises where even I go for work. We have two common canteens in the complex situated side by side. One of them has a counter which sells cigarettes, pan masalas, gutkhas etc. Whenever you pass through that area, you will always find the cigarette buds and empty sachets littered around. The poor attendants have to clean up the garbage every now and then. Now if employees belonging to such high profile companies do not know how to behave, who else will?

The primary reason why we are still called an underdeveloped country despite having what it takes to rule the world is the attitude we have towards our own country. We complain about the apathy of the Municipal corporations and unhygienic conditions with the same ferocity with which we stomp on the  cigarette bud thrown on the road.

When will we learn?

What Does a Marathi Manoos Want?

… a question that goes unanswered in all the elections. From wherever and whenever the Thackerays started wooing the Marathi junta, I dont really remember one good initiative taken by any one to ask the real ‘Common Marathi Manoos’ as to what his real demands are.

In fact, in between the digging of the cricket pitches, the riotings and the banishing of the so called ‘Bhaiyyas’, the real cause of concern has been getting lost time and again. The situation is that now the real common ‘Marathi Manoos’ doesn’t know where to start and what does he really need from the innumerable political agendas being manifested and bulldozed on his own name. May be he has accepted the silent corrupt (read Congress) over the shouting bigots as his and Maharashtra’s saviour for a better future. Yes, Raj Thackeray has won 13 seats in Maharashtra. We have seen all the talking he did. May be we can see things improving on the ground level too. May be…

Anyway, I’m not spending too much time on who has done what and who wants to do more. I’m just addressing the plain question asked by a ‘common marathi manoos’ and I want you (YOU the reader) to answer it for me.

PS: In my opinion, all a Marathi Manoos wants is better opportunities for him, better living conditions in his own motherland, greater financial stability and peaceful dwelling. And of course he doesn’t like some one else dominating his life. But I’m sure he doesn’t care who sits next to him in his office, whether a Gujarathi or a Bihari.