How to Avoid Office Meetings…

Simple-

  1. Pretend to be the sickest person on earth on the day when meeting is scheduled. Call your boss and cough as hard as you can. He should fear for his life, for he could catch TB.
  2. If point number one doesn’t appeal, pretend to be busy in a client call. I’m sorry, let that be a call with either partner or a supplier. This saves you from sales targets. I’m told when you pretend to be busy with the client, they increase your monthly targets.
  3. If the first two are not good enough, call your boss and tell him your father’s uncle’s step son’s aunt fell down from the first floor. Generally first floors are safe. They dont kill you. But you can then spend next two days at home pretending to be in the hospital.
  4. If nothing of the above works for you, the reason that I’m caught in traffic must and always works… without doubt.
  5. If your boss is as smart as you are and he asks you to join through a conference call, make sure you stand near a junction or a parking lot. Ask your fellow commuters to blow (their) horns as if their life depended on it. Then dial into the conference call. You know what can happen next. 🙂

I hope you were satisfied with my reasoning. If yes, kindly press 2 or 7. If not, press any thing else nearby. Neither of the inputs are going to reach me anyway.     🙂

The Meetings!

Office meetings are always so funny. Every time we have a meeting, I remember Scott Adams. If there is one guy who has understood the corporate world well, it is him. And boy, how well he captures it.  🙂

This incident is from one of our review meetings in the office last week. The bosses were discussing the usual and the obvious, as usual. I listened to it for some time. But then I found out that I was invited only to make sure that each of these bosses have at least one listener (me) who will look at them and pay attention. That was injustice man, and without any perks too. Of course, there are those bourbon biscuits and wafers. But the idiot office boys keep those plates in front of the bosses. So even that ‘perk’ is gone.    😦

I decided I had had enough. I opened my laptop and started the old favourite gtalk. Then started the series of pings. Hello to him, Hi to her… boy I was all over the gmail. Just when I was discussing one’s prospective groom on one window, telling a friend how boring it is on the other and discussing a break away proposal on the third I realised that the conference room had gone silent. Every one was looking at me, some of them in anticipation and one of them (my boss of course) in anger. All I could do was smile, why is it not funny? 🙂

Boy, the meetings are just like the classrooms. You cant even do your own stuff when the teacher is not watching you.