What kind of boss will YOU be?

In last 6 years of my life, I have always disliked all my bosses, no matter what. With an exception of one, all of them were great guys. But none of these could get to a ‘good boss’ level. In my last employment, even I had a team reporting to me. At one point I lead a team of 9 executive! While most of them are still in touch and no one ever complained to me, I dont know what they felt about me as a boss.

Every boss is different and probably equally idiotic. So that leads to a question. What kind of boss do you think you will be? I’d like to know please. If you already are a boss, tell me how you are. If you want to be a boss, tell me how you would like to be. I’m going to base an upcoming story on this one.

So I’m all ears. Tell me?

What a Boss Hole!

Boss hole is an analogue to you know what. πŸ™‚

Some times I wonder for once, at least once if I get to show my current and former bosses what a bunch of idiots they were. I swear I would do that… and not be polite at all. There have been times, in fact many times when I just wanted to utter ‘You muffin head, do you understand what you are doing or talking?’ But I couldn’t. Not because I feared losing a job. Because I didn’t find it appropriate. And I have spanked myself many times for ‘not finding it appropriate’. Continue reading

Think over it

“What good goes away from you always finds its way to come back to you… if not in the form that you most expected.”

I have had a bad day today. I couldn’t think of a better way to express my displeasure. May you all get a better boss!

Ponder Thunder

Have you ever wondered on any of these things?

  • We are a country divided by race, ethnicity, religions and united by the cricket team of India.
  • Some of the most popular television advertisements are always made by the brand that is number two or three in India. Example Vodafone, Motorola, Surf, Boost, Pepsi.
  • Also, we remember all of these ads but hardly any of these products. Even have actually not influenced our decision to buy.
  • Best place to rant is your diary, your blog and your mobile phone… and best place to vent your frustration out is a football field or the kitchen.
  • Your mobile phone will essentially vibrate every time you are in the middle of an interview or with your boss discussing on some thing important. Interestingly, it will be in your lower or back pocket… making the matter worse.
  • What maketh a man these days is fat pay package, sexy mobile and great contacts… no longer his manhood.
  • Why does, “Hey… good news!” always means someone’s getting married or becoming a parent? Aren’t other news good?
  • (Latest) The extension rings and your boss calls exactly the moment you return from the coffee machine with a hot cup. He eats your time directly proportional to the amount heat lost by the coffee.

Cost cutting Measures

A friend sent me the following cartoon over an email yesterday. I just couldn’t avoid putting it here, as I couldn’t avoid laughing it as well. All you guys who are facing salary cuts, appraisal misses or lay offs, woould you not like to suggest this?

cost_saving_cartoons

Executive Toilets?

I went to a client visit at a fairly well known company today. I had a strange yet very common observation. It is about toilets. Here is what heppened-

I had to meet a CxO level person. Naturally he made me wait for quite some time. I was asked to sit in an ice cold conference room. That triggered my potency to a nature’s call. Obviously once the meeting was over, I asked the house keeping staff to direct me to the wash rooms. To my surprise, there were 4 different wash rooms. One for the ladies (understandably), one for the male staff, one for visitors (unisex) and one for executives. Executives? Yes. I was told that the bosses dont like to ‘pee’ standing shoulder to shoulder with the staff.

Hmmm… may be the VPs and CEOs follow a different posture.Β Β  πŸ˜€

Silence of the lambs

If you have bumped into this post thinking I have written yet another movie review (based on the Sean Connery, Jodie Foster starer) then you are going to be disappointed (or happy, may be). By saying silence of the lambs I’m referring to all my colleagues. πŸ™‚

I work in an organization providing content creation and content management services to the publishing, learning and the media industry. Meaning we have enough creative talent on the floor (animators, artists, designers, evangelists et all.) Meaning two, the office is always in a chirpy mood. These guys some times make severely loud noise, including the bosses. I joined them with an IT background that too in the analysis team. So I was used to serene (read mundane) work environments. However this job (though it pays me less) is refreshingly cool.

The point here is, these lambs (I call them sheli which in Marathi means lambs) have been on a silent mode since morning. I’m just failing to understand why. The normal ‘rock concert’ like atmosphere has turned into a near morgue. I tried speaking to my neighbors, but to no avail. Whatever it is, I’m determined to find out!

Addendum(6:55pm): I figured out the reason for silence. There were two. One, a project delivery was scheduled and the COO had asked every one to keep their mouthy shut. Two, due to some error in processing, most of the employees did not receive their salary and the problem was going to take another week. So the mood was down anyway. Thankfully I got paid on time :mrgreen:

Freedom of expression

*Disclaimer:*

If you are a CXO, VP, GM, Department head or any thing else that classifies top management, please stop reading and hit the back button. You are on a wrong page. Others may carry on.

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Alright if you are not a part of any management, let me tell you that we all humans are deprived of the basic fundamental right. We come across this situation, and often when we are in our office where the right to freely communicate seizes to exist once we are inside boss’s cabin or the conference room.

Communication should always be two way. “Yes sir…” “Sorry Sir…” “Ok sir…” as answers to every asinine question thrown at you does not classify as two way communication. Of course we are allowed to speak more… but all we can speak is appreciate our bosses for the wonderfully stupid decisions they take. For all job loving family men, speaking truth is not an option.Β  :mrgreen:

Recent example- I was discussing new business strategies with my interim boss. He asked me to prepare a white paper and few case studies on Work flow Management so that we could share it with out prospects and customers. It took me 20 minutes of serene persuasion that we neither have any experience in work flow management nor prospects who need that solution. Poor guy doesn’t know that throwing a jargon or a new service just for the sake of adding a point to the meeting doesn’t work. (Reminds me of Dilbert)Β  πŸ™‚

Anyway, thanks for reading. Express freely! Ahoy!

PS: For all married and committed men, I sympathize with you for losing the right to express freely at home tooΒ  πŸ™‚

PS Again: If you are a part of top management and still read this entry despite warning, let me tell you that I’m the boss on my blog. I have the right to freely express at least here, you dont! Β  πŸ˜›

Discovery

I have found out few things today. As in few of them are observations over a period of time, but they make good sense as most of the happenings were today. So I had a happening day πŸ™‚

  1. Never intervene a desperate or an over excited man. If he is your boss… NEVER
  2. Its easy to tell some one ‘you are a fool’ just by saying the opposite and giving a sarcastic smile.
  3. It is very difficult to reprimand some one. It makes you more tense. (I pity my bosses)
  4. Being a tenant in a Gujrati and Marathi dominated society is as good as being a Pakistani infiltrating India border.You are looked upon as if you are a bigger nuisance than the stray dogs.
  5. Societies have rules that meant to make sure your life is miserable (They release all the water when you are not at home and fine you if you leave a tap open).
  6. At work, it is more likely that the person you trust most doesn’t trust you at all.
  7. Mix veg is the most popular cooked vegetable dish in whole of India.
  8. Getting credit cards, loans are most easier when you don’t need them at all.
  9. Being surrounded by idiots, best thing you can do is to keep your mouth shut.
  10. You don’t get good job offers when you need them the most.
  11. My friend Kaustubh is a very sensible an intelligent guy in phases.

Most of all, Its easy to write any thing in your blog and no need to answer any one. πŸ™‚