Before you courteously offer some help to me, let me clarify that I’m not looking for help. Perhaps this post is about people who keep seeking help from others, mostly emotional help. I’m sure you will comprehend what I intend to say here and may have sought or offered help to people who keep running back to you for some reason or the other.
I think I’m naturally very rude. The way I talk ‘hurts’ people. But my wife isn’t like that. She enjoys these occasional bursts of compassion and charity. So no wonder the list of people seeking her blessings is much longer. For example yesterday one of her recently added friend cum blessing seeker called her up to tell her that his new found room mates were not treating him well. Now what has my wife got to do with it? I’ll tell you (patience is requested). She had helped this guy, who is apparently her colleague, to thwart his boss’s plan to expel him from his project by drafting a good email for him. And why did she do that? Because one day this guy sat besides her and opened his can of worms (read problems), just like that. That email was sent to the Vice President of the company and did wonders for the guy. Since then, every time he calls her or meets her, he keeps talking about some new problem. Finally my wife recently realised that he is sort of a cry baby (no wonder why his room mates dont treat him properly. I’d have beaten him. Anyway…) and now she has started ignoring him.
There are many such examples in recent times, with her list being longer than the common list of cry babies we share. People have cried for their emotional problems, family matters, marital issues, job related problems and what not. The problem definition varies with every person. But what remains constant is people’s attitude towards it. For most of them, once a problem always remains a problem. For us, once a problematic friend always remains a problematic friend. Oh and by the way, if you are reading this and you happened to share a problem with me (or my wife) seeking help on it, this is probably not for you. This post is aimed at repeat offenders. If you are one of them, then I cant help. This might just be aimed at you. 🙂
The reason I decided to eek this out today is because I realised that people never learn from their mistakes. In fact, they dont want to learn. I remember a case of one such serial offender, again one of my wife’ colleague. (I guess emotional weakness is a qualification criteria to get in there… anyway). He was upset because his girl friend was not treating him well. My wife helped him and freed him from the atrocities of the evil girl. But he continued to remain upset. It goes without saying that he also continued to bother my wife. So as a last gasp effort to salvation (I dont know whose), she referred him to me. When I met this guy, I thought probably he deserved to be tortured. God bless that girl. But Sigh! I was supposed to help him. As we spoke, I found out that the guy was extremely frustrated. All he had to do was let the feelings go out of his mind. I told him no one can be of paramount importance to him, except himself. I suggested him to bounce a hard stone off the road and keep doing it till he felt better. Then I asked him to have a bottle of chilled beer and shout ‘F*** U’ loudly and get on with life. Forgive, forget and keep moving… that is a simple funda I apply to my life and believe me, it works. But do you think it worked for him? Obviously not! He later fell in love with a married woman! Ha!
Human emotions is such a complex thing. Yet I say that most problems arise when you let your emotions take control of yourself. You let some one over power your emotions and thats it! The focus of life gets lost.