I AM


(PS: Here ‘I’ is not equal to Mayur Pathak, but not too different either 🙂 )

Figure for me is being able to wear a ‘jeans’ without getting too cramped. I find Shahrukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor as sexy. And I think Dilip Kumar is a great actor.

I eat Burgers and Pizzas when in Mumbai or Delhi and vouch for Panipuri and Aloo ka Paratha when in New York and London.

I criticize the BMC and comment on why Mumbai can not be like Shanghai or Singapore without ever visiting any of the cities or for that matter, without even living in Mumbai.

I try to teach how to hit sixes and win matches to Sourav Ganguly and M.S. Dhoni when my own hard hit shot doesn’t even cross the compound wall.

I feel the cricketers have taken bribes every time they drop a catch, get dismissed or lose a match.

I idolise Sachin Tendulkar, Lata Mangeshkar, Chetan Bhagat and Raj Thackeray.

I like all songs by Pink Floyd, Madonna and Michael Jackson without knowing what genre of music they make or play. And I dance to them when in a discotheque. Though my dance moves are as if I’m dancing to a Punjabi Dhol.

I find movie tickets+popcorn+coke at 300 bucks as reasonable whereas Apples at 100 bucks a kilogram as costly.

“Kitne Aadmi the…” and “Tere Paas kya hai…” are still my most widely used filmy dialogues. But I hate Bollywood movies that fantasize too much. And yet, Star wars, Jurassic Park, Matrix and Terminator are my favourite movies.

I criticize every ruling party and always think the opposition would have done better, no matter who is in power.

I always think my boss is an Idiot and I can do a better job than him. But I never fail to flatter him, in order to get a good appraisal.

I obey traffic rules only when I see the traffic cop standing at the far end of the junction.

Being a spectator to a road side quarrel is a great fun to me.

I like writing and reading about myself.

I AM … an Indian!!!

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17 thoughts on “I AM

  1. I …am someone who dips his hands in a mouth-freshner bowl even though there is a spoon kept in it ..simply because i know my hands are clean ..but not bothering how others feel groused out because of it 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. Interesting post..

    but please drop Chetan Bhagat from the list….that guy simply sucks! especially about the stupid controversy he made up to be in the news… but ofcourse he too is not a perfect Indian 😉

  3. @Pallavi: As I said, this post is not abut me. There are many idiots who idolize Chetan Bhagat. He is the youth icon, you know.

    In my opinion, Abhijat Joshi has brilliantly turned the otherwise stereotypical story of 5 point some one.

    In my yet another unwanted, unnecessary opinion, Chetan Bhagat sucks as a writer.

    Period.

  4. who idolizes CB and Raj? Deva deva!

    Well said about the rest of the things though.

    I call other countries racist but ignore the rampant racism that I indulge in everyday!

  5. Mitrano- Raj Thakray sucks ase mhanta ka? Aaj jari to sucks watat asla tari udya to tumha saglyana suck karayla lavnar ahe.

    Raj will become a national leader one day and then he will show what a ‘Marathi manoos’ is capable of.

    Jay Maharashtra

  6. Deva Deva? 🙂

    Well there are people who idolise CB and Raj. Here is the proof. It was there even before I could reply.

    Any way!

    @M: God bless you my boy. Even I’m a marathi manoos and I’m STILL waiting to see what Raj can do. But sadly I dont have so much patience to wait till he becomes a national leader. “Jo Manushya aaplyach manasach bhala karu shakat nahi to deshacha bhala kay karnar?”

    (Meaning: How will a person who can not do any good to his own people, do any good to the country?)

  7. I am an Indian if I Stereotype the whole nation based on 20 attributes listed here 😛

    Most of us love beauty, sports, cars, property, music, dance, romance in different proportions.. and we are different .. so dont take this post seriously like seen in subsequent comments.

    Take it for what it is.. something that makes you smile 🙂

  8. @ Mayur; hey don’t use the word ‘idiot’ for the duh sorts after the movie its a word for the sane now 😉

    CheerS! to Abhijat and rest of the team

  9. hi mayur nice blog about indian,
    but i dont think so raj thakare is right,
    dont feel bad but its true……………….
    unone kya kiya maharashtra maharashtra karte karte mumbai jaisi city kaise kar rakh diya i agree marathi aani chahiye lakin iska matlab ye nahi ki kisiki roti hi unse chhin li jaye unko kuch dino ki mohlat dena chahiye ki aap itne dino me sikh lo niether hum apko nikal denge. & 2nd thing apne ” mi shivaji raje boltoy ” ye movie dekhi hogi usame kaha tume kisine nahi roka ke ye tum na karo , aaj hum har jagah marwadi logo ka example kyu dete he kyoki wo eak uper nahi jata sathme 2-3 jan ko to pakka leke jayega lakin marathi people kya sochte wo uppar ja raha to use niche kaise khech lu ye nahi ki use kaise support karu then thakare ji marathi people ki soch badal ya unko samjata nahi to dusronki kyu chhin lena apna hi sikha khota ho to dusare sikhe ko hath hi kyu lagana or na hum marathi he na hum marwadi or nahi bihar-muslim hum indian he indian ye soch ke kyu nahi hum chalte…………
    kuch din pahle me karnatak side gai hui thi waha mene 17 saal ka eak ladka kon thi pata nahi usaki lakin use bata raha tha ke me agar prime minister bana to india ko uss bilandi tak jake pohchaunga kabhi kisine imagine bhi ki nahi hogi, usne ye bhi kaha ke us ladke ko tere me nayak movie ka bhut laga he lakin usne jawav bhi kya dena wo movie he real me kuch alag hota he 1 day me hum kuch nahi kar sakte 1year bhi kum hote he lakin namumkin nahi hote wo 1year usane kaise ye india ko develop karga kaha se itna paisa ayega kaise usaka istemal karna sachme us time laga aaj agar sachme wo prime minister hota to kya karta itni si umar me itni gehri soch aise laga uske per chhu lu mene jake usase uska autograph liya he or aisi govt. ani chahiye to india aage jayegi uska naam ” harshad bhattad “aise kuch tha or mechnical eng.pathata he or wo eak marwadi tha use mene jab kaha tum kon ho usne kaha me eak sacha hindusthani hu….eak hi sawal use mene kaha ye sirf kehne ki baat he jiske paas satta uska rajj or paisa bhi usne itne achya jawab diya paisa kya me kaise bhi kama sakta lakin muze ye opportunity agar mili to muje apne des ke liye kuch karne ka moka milega yahi mere liye paisa he…………..mera yahi kehna he ki koi bhi govt. aaye use hum hi lane wale or na lane wale hote he………isliye jago bhartiy jago or kuch aisa karke dikhao ki jinone hume swatantra milake diya unke atma ko shanti to milegi…………………
    “Jay Hind Jay Bharat”
    i m indian”

    • @Wagner: Thats a BIG comment and I’m finding it really difficult to read it. But I got the essence and I agree with you completely. That is what I have been opposing about all of us. We are all so biased about things. And most of the times, blind! Humare hi bhai humari pithh mein chhura ghop rahe hai aur hume lag raha hai wo humari pith khuja rahe hai.

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