Murphy’s Law on Marriage

Here are 10 Murphy’s laws on marriages. Of course Murphy has got nothing to do with marriage and the laws have been written by yours truly. 🙂

I hope this light’s up your Diwali and you will have a good laugh.

  1. The demands of your wife will always marginally exceed your capacity to fulfil them.
  2. The price of her new dress (or jewellery) she selects is inversely proportional to the balance in your account. This is true only one way. You know which way!
  3. All beautiful girls will want to be your friend and show interest exactly after your status changes from ‘single’ to ‘engaged’ or ‘married’.
  4. No matter what, almost all Mother-in-Laws are equally bad.
  5. Your wife will be mad at you for the things you least expect her to be.
  6. A husband is always right whenever he is alone or his wife is asleep.
  7. You will get caught talking to a boy/girl you would never have an affair with, even in your wildest dreams.
  8. Your relatives and friends will get married mostly when you are in a bad recessionary state… and your wife will insist you attend all of them (So much gifts!)
  9. No matter what, your wife will never have enough clothes.
  10. A wife will always win all arguments. If she doesn’t, it is your fault.

Keep adding if you have any more 🙂

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R A N D O M: Part III

I was just wondering in the morning today. The genie in the bottle must be really cramped for space. Is it not? The way we are cramped for space here in Mumbai? But they (The genies) are shown to have enjoyed a really good living in there. They seem to have a lavish living room and such good homes. Alright wait! I guess I know the secret. If you reduce yourself to a miniature size, you might do wonders with the available space you got. So why not I reduce myself to one fourth the size of what I am. Then I can transform my apartment into a duplex, or even better- a palatial bungalow!

Oh well! I think its either the Liril 2000 or the shower cabinet in my bathroom. Either of them is having a damaging effect on my brain. After all reducing myself will not reduce the size of the world. Is it? Ha ha, this looks like a joke straight from the ‘Khichadi’ or ‘Sarabhai’ serials. 😛

Coming back to the space problem in Mumbai. There is a home available for every one here. Yet every one feels cramped. Although every one wants to stay as close to the root hub, not all can afford it. So why not actually have a rule to construct affordable housing in almost every area? For every 10 premium buildings, we should have one low cost housing colony. It should constitute high rise towers and be designed in such a way that maximum space is utilised for living.

I guess some thing is wrong with the Garnier shampoo as well. What the hell am I talking? Do we really have so much space in Mumbai left to be constructed? And what about the traffic problem? Okay let me suggest. I say levy an additional tax for driving cars during peak hours on busy roads. At the same time, fine people who do not use car pool despite being possible. Encourage use of buses and trains.

Gosh! Even the Gillette shave gel is troublesome.

Golden Oldies

The readership on my blog has recently increased. By that I mean in last 7-8 months, I have had many repeat visitors and the number goes every day. Selfishly assuming that I have been writing good articles from the day 1   🙂   I’m adding few of the old entries that the recent readers might have missed. Enjoy them and sorry for the selfish marketing  🙂

Goodbye Cadbury! We will miss you.

cadbury_dairy_milk This is a secret news. Dont tell this to any one, especially to children. But the truth is, the Cadbury brand is on sale. Af all the companies, Kraft Foods is the front runner to buy it. Hershey’s, who also entered the race is now supposedly out of the race. Speculation is rife that even Nestle is interested in it. Fingers are crossed across the M&A sector.

Sigh! Whatever the outcome, Cadbury is on sale for sure. I dont know if the new owners will retain the brand, or at least the packaging. I still remember being mad about the shiny purple Dairy Milk and the Golden 5 Star. They have brilliantly retained the brand and its image all through these 25 years that I know them. I’ll be very disappointed if any thing of the current Cadbury chocolate fleet is discontinued, may it be the colour, the taste or the brand itself.

Cadbury! We will miss you 😦

Deutsche Bank is Mad, Without Doubt!

deutsche_bank_logoI had a silver credit card from Deutsche Bank. Early this year, I decided to cancel it. The decision had nothing to do with the Bank. Just that I didn’t need it any more. So about 6 months back, I called up the customer care and asked them to cancel my card. The exec told me that since the new billing cycle had started, I will have to clear my dues first and wait for the new bill to be generated. Once I receive it, I can immediately apply for a cancellation. I promptly made a payment, but some how the cheque did not get credited… for whatever reason. The next bill came with a late payment charge. Now I was obviously miffed. But then it was no body’s mistake and I agreed to pay. I also called the customer care to cancel my card.

Few days later I received a call for the overdue payment. I told them that I had to cancel my card and the Bank had to get back to me. They agreed to send a guy to my office and settle the due amount. The guy who came to collect the payment told me that in few days I will receive a letter stating that the card is discontinued. I got busy in my own schedule and didn’t bother to check if one such letter was delivered to my residence/office. A month later, I received a new bill stating a late payment charge. I again called the customer care and told them about it. I was expecting a cancellation letter, not another bill. The exec first told me that the late payment charge was due to non payment before the due date. But after hearing me out, she said it must be by mistake. I ignored it and I didn’t receive a bill for next two months. Last month I got an email and an sms stating my bill was 3 months overdue. What the… I hadn’t used my card and cleared my dues, then what was this late payment for? Now for last 3-4 days, their recovery team is following up with me. You wanna know the amount? Rs. 1300! I’m sure Deutsche Bank has gone mad.

Mr. Credit card Manager from Deutsche Bank, let me tell you that I have instructed your bank to stop my card long back. I cleared the dues on the purchases I had made and also settled the amount. I dont understand why you are forcing the late payment charges on me when I’m actually not supposed to make any payments. Please stop this non-sense or I will have to drag this to the public forum.

Thank You!