What the @#$% IVRS


I called the Airtel customer care number yesterday. All I had to do was to cancel my mobile office GPRS plan. It took me almost 10 minutes to actually arrive at the right option and some how the line went dead. I guess I might have pressed a wrong button and upset the IVRS. I was obviously frustrated. But did I have an option? The second time I dialled, I desperately tried to talk to a human being and not just a voice. I finally succeeded only to know that he was a wrong guy I was talking to. Thankfully he could transfer the line and managed to know ‘how to send a simple sms’ to cancel the GPRS account 🙂

This is not all, few days back I had called Deutsche Bank to remind them that I had cancelled their credit card few months back and that they should stop sending me bills with late payment charges. Three emails didn’t work so I had to call. And again I bumped into the god damn Interactive Voice Response System (IVRS). In fact it had taken me three attempts and half an hour to actually reach the right ‘button’ only to find out that for cancellation, I will have to write an application and send it to their branch. What the @#$%! So much for technological advancement and so much for the IVRS.

I dont understand one thing. Why do you have an IVRS in the first place when most of the people either end up choosing a wrong option or are only satisfied after they have spoken to the customer care executive? I’m a traditional guy. I’d like to have human being to answer my call every time I call the customer care, even though it means waiting for some time. Imagine this situation guys, you dial the police helpline or even worse the fire brigade and are greeted by an IVRS. By the time you press one for this, two for that and 7 for some thing else, half and hour has already passed and the fire has gutted your house. Then what?

… and you call your own home. There is an IVRS. It says, “Good Evening! Thank you for calling the XYZ residence. For English press one. Hindi ke liye 2 dabaye. Marathi sathi 3 daba… To speak to Mr. XYZ who is the father, press 1. To speak to Mrs. XYZ who is the mother, press 2.To speak to Master ABC who is the son, press 3 … If you are a boy, press one. If you are a girl press 2. If either of the options dont suit you, please press #… If you are a friend, press 1. If you are a relative, press 2…………………”

By the time you will reach Mr. XYZ or ABC, you will be sick of talking and pressing buttons. I’m already sick. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “What the @#$% IVRS

  1. Edward Abbey’s quote:
    High technology has done us one great service: It has retaught us the delight of performing simple and primordial tasks – chopping wood, building a fire, drawing water from a spring speaking on phone without IVRS and with human beings.

    “Good Evening! Thank you for calling the XYZ residence. For English press one. Hindi ke liye 2 dabaye. Marathi sathi 3 daba… To speak to Mr. XYZ who is the father, press 1. To speak to Mrs. XYZ who is the mother, press 2.To speak to Master ABC who is the son, press 3 … If you are a boy, press one. If you are a girl press 2. If either of the options dont suit you, please press #… If you are a friend, press 1. If you are a relative, press 2…………………”

    was hilarious. You can use it. Of course only if you are fed up with people calling you and don’t want them calling any more.

  2. High technology has done us one great service: It has retaught us the delight of performing simple and primordial tasks – chopping wood, building a fire, drawing water from a spring was the exact quote.

    ‘speaking on phone without IVRS and with human beings’ was added by me 😉

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