L8: Head over Heels, The Build Up


My friend has shared her love story with me. Here is the second part. You can read part one here.

Cheers!

This is an absolute first had incident, an event that will always be close to my heart and taught me a few important lessons in life. I call it my sweet bitter experience (rather than the other way around).

Arranged marriage in India is a very scary affair. These are long lasting traditions that still find peak importance in life. You can say it is a ‘gathbandhan’ (A holy knot) between two families. My case was no different considering I belong to a traditional and conservative Indian family. Where you grow up with a belief that your husband will be short listed by the parents and grand parents and other elders in the family and your relatives and… anyway. (Though I won’t say select, because we do have a choice of saying a yes or a no)

Let me start with a confession first. Parents of a 27 yr old are not at peace at all no matter how well settled their child is. Every minute is spent thinking how and from where to find a ‘perfect match’ for their not so perfect daughter. In fact a day comes when the parents out of desperation do say; go find yourself a good boy. My question is- How? And Where?

I’ve always been single, a freebird you may say who enjoyed her share of crushes, infatuations and an occasional attentive glance from the opposite sex. Delhi is my karambhoomi where guys I met fell broadly in 5 categories. (I guess it might be the same every where). So the categories are

  • Married– can’t look at them.
  • Taken– already seeing someone- no point looking here. Let the one who are happy together stay together as well.
  • Friends– Never confuse relationships, sort of my personal policy
  • Some good guys who aren’t really straight
  • And last category- never mind, not worth it at all

So what do I do? Back to square one each time? Then I told my family, you want me to marry? Fine! Find me options to choose from. Mind it! Getting one married is a family mission. It is not just limited to parents responsibility (I just love this thing about big families). Trust me; this feeling of ‘all in the family’ is just great of course its adds to the already existing pressure but that’s a different story.

Next was the million dollar question. How will the family find an ideal match? They took three options:

Option 1 (Even I was surprised people still go for this. The age old formula is still a hit)- Matrimonial pull outs with newspapers.

Option 2– The new age mantra; shaadi.com and the likes. I am strictly against this one. It feels as if you are putting yourself up for sale. Come check me out. Don’t like it? No problem, refresh the page… But lot of people fancy this, millions including my grandmother who keeps telling me, “Aaj kal toh computer par ladkey miltey hein.” Wow!

Option 3– Oldest Formula, reference from family and friends. Since there is a dearth of good guys these ones are few and far in between.

Here I am, a 27 yr old, a PR professional working in Delhi for last 6yrs and living with my maternal grandparents. Youngest and only girl in the family left to be married. My life so far has been quite easy going, work-home-work and yes, friends too. But the biggest dream my grandfather (dad’s father) had in the last few years was to get me married. He even tried every trick in the book to convince me for it which also included a bribe. J I being a little naughty, I always had some trick to get out of it. My favorite reason was- I am only 24 and too young to get married (24 for last 4 yrs, he had poor memory because of old age so he believed it and my parents never corrected it either).

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